Posted by: Beemer Bob | January 31, 2011

2011/01 Pursuit of The Perfect Pie (Full Report)

Ongoing Mission… Pursuit of The Perfect Pie!

I and a few friends head off to see if we can find the perfect pie. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of pie” is the basis of American society.

This will be a short mission, but vitally important to national security, foreign policy and the well being of all mankind. “One small bite for man, a giant pie for mankind

I go meet a feller with the handle of WhiskySmith (I think he may be a boozer) that hails from the town of Seguin (Near San Antonio), we plan to ride a bit, perhaps get dirty, and then see if we can find any evidence of dinosaurs tonight. A few more may join us tonight in that hunt. If a T-Rex doesn’t get us, tomorrow we will head off – In search of the perfect pie…

Wish us well and that the motorcycle gods watch over us. This is a difficult mission, but being the patriots we are, we are up to the challenge!

I met up with WhiskySmith on his way to Central Texas around noonish, we ride out to Jonesboro for their legendary cheeseburger on jalapeño sourdough bread. Jonesboro is a small rural Texas town and about the only commercial place left is the “Jonesboro Store” that serves as a service station, small grocery store and makes awesome cheeseburgers.

Jonesboro Store

And this is a picture of my cheeseburger

Opps, I seemed to have forgotten to take a “before” picture. Trust me it was yum-yum. If you ever make it to Jonesboro, stop it for a great cheeseburger.

From there we meandered over to the thriving metropolis of Cranfills Gap (population 300) to a little biker bar there for a cool Texas brew. I mean, it was 75 degrees after all. Yes it’s late January, but this is why we love Texas.

The biker bar I speak of is the infamous Horny Toad Bar & Grill

And as proof it is a real biker bar

From Cranfills Gap we went in search of dirt. We were following some tracks/routes we had downloaded from a past rally but the section we picked was the only paved section in the route. Nice ride though and it was just as good we did not go off road, that seems to be when I get in trouble.

We reach the county seat of Bosque County and we have to stop for a photo op in front of the Meridian courthouse.

We had to stop and take this picture for two reasons.

  1. WhiskySmith was new to the mindless game of taking pictures of your stead in front of a courthouse.
  2. It bugs my brother (Hap Hazard) when I stop to take these kind of pictures and include them in my reports or email him a copy. So I had to do both. This one’s for you Bro.

From Meridian we continue north to the town of Glen Rose. In Glen Rose we find the courthouse for Somerville County. So, we had to stop for a photo op (same reasons as above)

We then head to a nearby state park where dinosaur tracks have been reported. They say tracks have been sighted in the river bottom, so down to the river we head.

We searched diligently and low and behold we see something in the water.

What are those indentations in the water? I wonder, could they be ..?

Upon closer inspection

We consult our paleontologist manuals and confirm these are in fact dinosaur tracks! At this point we are quite excited and proceed to give each other high-fives but we hear a growl and look up. Oh my God!

Run, WhiskySmith, run!

Whew! That was a close call. We set up camp (within dinosaur proof fencing) and decide it’s time for some chow. We head over to a nearby establishment called Loco Coyote (aka: North Texas Luckenbach)


I order a small 16 oz. rib eye, WhiskySmith orders a few ribs.

With bellies full, we return to the campsite and are joined by Jbay who comes bearing additions to the evening beverages.

After an evening of telling lies by the campfire, we say nightie-night. It had been a great day. Nice, warm and sunny. But after the sun dropped tempurtures started to drop. By late evening, it was downright cool, by the middle of the night it was COLD. VERY COLD! This is what our campsite looked like.

In the morning we crawl out of our frozen sleeping bags, throw some logs on the fire and I take up residence in the middle of the fire pit. By time the snow and ice melted, I was able to take some other pictures of campsite.

We had lots of leftovers from last night’s feast so that is what we had for breakfast. Here is Jbay chowing down on a rib.

Que! The breakfast of champions.

We eventually pack up. Jbay knows some good routes to take, so now we are off to our primary mission. Find the perfect pie.

We join up with a group called “Two Wheeled Texans” who has as their mission statement to find the perfect pie. Any group that will ride to the far ends of the Republic of Texas scouting out pie joints is my kind of group.

We end up in the town of Hico, Texas (the alleged home and burial site of “Billy the kid”) and arrive at the Koffee Kup restaurant.

I get seated and order a cup of coffee and the “Black Forrest Pie”.


Was is good? ABSOLUTELY! Is this the perfect pie? Is this the best pie in Texas? Well, it could be but to know for sure one must sample EVERY pie, EVERY WHERE.

So the quest must continue. Ongoing Mission… Pursuit of The Perfect Pie!



  1. You’re wrong – that is not the best pie. The best pie is the apple pie at Love Creek Orchards in Medina. Hint, Hint, I want to go there.

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