Posted by: Beemer Bob | October 11, 2014

xxxLost in the Ozarks

October 7, 2014

Let me tell you how Beemer lost his off-road privileges.

In the last episode, our little trail has dead ended so I just turned around and got back on the highway.

Hunter and I then continued onward to Havana in search of a good cigar.

Downtown Havana


Close, but no cigar. 🙂

Aimlessly riding some of the gravel roads in the area, I saw a small sign pointing to some lake (I don’t remember the name). I guess I missed a turn somewhere because I never found a lake.

I don’t know where I’m at but I’m apparently in some kind of forest service land.

I encounter some guy on an ATV and he gives me some directions on how to get back to the highway to the state park.

He told me to head down this road and when I could turn right then when I got to the old liberty church turn left. No problem, so off I go.




And I reach this

It is not, however, a church, it’s an old school

I claim the school for the great state of Texas.

Nearby is an old graveyard. Some of the grave sites were new, but most were dated in the mid to late 1800’s. Some of the markers were nothing more than shards of stone sticking out of the ground

Some of these shards, however, through research I presume, had some identification added.

Enough of this place, it’s time to head back to the parks. Let’s see, did that guy on the ATV say turn left or turn right? Umm

I have a GPS but because I am not on a real road that the GPS map knows of, it just shown me as in the middle of nowhere. Best I can do is zoom out ant try to head in the general direction of the highway leading to the park.

I no longer stopped to take pictures because it is getting late in the day and needed to hurry back to our campsite.

I follow what I think is the correct way to go. The road begins to narrow significantly. Soon it is no longer a road but is an ATV trail. I can see on the GPS where the highway is and I try to head in that direction. But the trail keeps making turns. I come to various forks and I follow the trail that seems to head in the direction I need to go, but then that trail will turn in another direction.

At this point, I am no longer having fun. I am on trails that I have no business being on or trails I don’t want to be on. This is getting pretty hairy.

There are signs on some of the trails numbering the routes. I give up trying to navigate in the direction of the highway and decide to just stay on the same numbered trail. If I stay on the same trail, it eventually has to go somewhere doesn’t it?

But I just keep going around crisscrossing the forest. My GPS will show a blue line showing where I have been. The screen on my GPS is blank except showing little zig zag blues lines all over.

It’s dusk now and I don’t want to be here after dark. I’ve been at this for several hours and even if I attempted to backtrack the way I came, it would be very dark before I got back back to a civilized road.

At the bottom of a very nasty looking hill, I stopped and called it quits. I got out the satellite phone and called thee Saint.

“Hello honey, I’m lost”

I gave the Saint my GPS coordinates and she got in touch with a park ranger. I later spoke with the park ranger and asked if he could bring up a detailed map based on my GPS coordinates and guide me out. He told me the best thing to do was hang tight and he would come find me and lead me out.

So I wait. It’s now dark. Remember this is the park with all those warning signs about bears. It’s dark and I’m in bear country!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch. Saint is taking pictures of the sunset


I’m not sure how well
Hunter will protect me should a bear come. I think Hunter would high tail it out of here should a bear come. I happen to carry a canister of bear spray and I now have it in hand. And I wait and wait. The ranger is no longer in cell phone range so I can no longer contact him. Is he lost too?

But at long last, he finds me. He tells me that that nasty hill that I did not want to climb was my best way out. So that’s what we do. At least if something happens, someone will be there to gather up the pieces.

As it turns out, had I kept going the way I was heading, I would have hit a nice gravel road that then lead to the highway going to the park.

I return to the park with the ranger following me.


Thee Saint says never again and I am never allowed to go off road by self again. For some reason, she felt that someone still
recovering from surgery should not have been there. She further says my off-road privileges have been forever revoked. I prefer to think that my off-roading has just been temporarily suspended. 🙂

Just another misadventure of Beemer(less) Bob


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